If the world ended tonight

If the world ended tonight, I would stay in my room. I would spend the afternoon thinking about those persons who made a difference in my life, listening to the songs that always made me remember funny or sad or nice things, eating yogurt with cornflakes or maybe just some pancakes that I wouldn’t bake myself ‘cause I still don’t know how to and I doubt I have time to learn until tonight. I wouldn’t think of primary school, because I hated it. I wouldn’t think of beginnings – I always hate those. I would think about the ends – end of school, of highschool, of uni, of MA, of my first job. I would think of all the money I spent on clothes and cosmetics and how I saved a special perfume for a special occasion, just because I’ve splurged on it. Maybe I’d wear it tonight. Along with my YSL mascara and my Chanel lipstick. I’d like to be pretty when the world comes to an end.

If the world ended tonight, I would go on Facebook and Twitter and see what other people think or do. Or simply how they feel about it. I think I will find someone who’ll enjoy  it. I reckon most people would feel sad. I know I’d feel disappointed. And maybe a bit melancholic.

Then, I would turn off my pc, for the last time and get annoyed that Windows wants to update right now. I would, maybe, think that I should’ve bought a Mac. Silly overpriced Apple. I would then think of hipsters. And I’d giggle or even laugh, mentally saying “are you seriously thinking about hipsters now!?”. Or maybe I’d just say it out loud.

 If the world ended tonight, I wouldn’t call anyone. I don’t like phoning people, I like texting, everyone knows I hate being on the phone for more than 2 mins. I like to think I’d get a few calls. Maybe some friends saying “hey, I’m glad I had the chance to meet you”. Maybe an old acquaintance telling me “hey, you know, you did make a difference in my life”. That would make me happy.

And then I’d go outside. I’m sure there’d be plenty of people on the streets. There always are, we all go there when something happens: fireworks, earthquake, car crash, anything. People would be loud, some of them would cry. I would walk. Slowly, because I always walk like that. Maybe I’d do things I’ve never had the guts to do, like hugging a few random persons. I would smile – I’m usually the stranger that smiles at other people. And I don’t even have a perfect smile.

I’d watch the sky and I’d feel sorry I haven’t watched it more often. I would touch some trees and be happy, cuz they most likely got to live more than me.

And then I’d run. I hate running but it gives some sort of unique feeling – I’m not sure I can think of anything that comes close to the sensation you get when you run. I would run slowly, I’m not fast at all – but it would seem so fast for me. I’d run ‘til I’d be out of breath and until my hair would be straight behind me. And then I’d stop, sit on the sidewalk and run my fingers through my  tangled hair and thinking to myself “my God, girls shouldn’t run with their hair down”. And then I’d just stand there, watching the sky again.

After that I’d go home. I’d like to be with my family when the world ends. Just like my family was with me when the world started.

Then we’d all lay down. Or maybe lie down. If the world ended tonight, I would think of all those things I’ve wanted to learn, but never managed to (lay/lie spelling, Russian, swimming, riding a bike). But I’d also think of the things I’ve learned.

The world isn’t ending tonight. But if it did, I would like to have the chance to be happy.  And I like to think I'm doing my best to achieve that.
-L.